


I Lied

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dirxy, F/M, Homestuck - Freeform, I lied by Nicki Minaj, Songfic, dirkroxy - Freeform, hahaha, i am sad, it was 4 am i couldnt sleep, lame, this is not my first fan fiction i just never post on here, this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 22:40:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4280601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 2:20 AM and you couldn't sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Lied

"I lied, to keeping you from breaking my heart."

It was 2:20 AM, and you couldn't sleep.

Again.

It was another one of those nights. You were sober, something thats been occurring more and more lately. Maybe because you realized you need to be spending your money on something more efficient. Maybe because you realized that he wouldn't love you the same way you did because you couldn't stay sober. 

"Even though I said I don't love you. I lied, I lied."

Maybe because you can't bring yourself to tell him the truth. You've loved him for so long it seems rather silly not to. Or maybe it's just the never ending fear that he won't return the feelings.

Fear.

You've never truly experienced it like most have. What is there to fear in your life? You're a successful college student, living off a full ride scholarship to one the best universities in the world. The most you could fear is losing your phone or not being able to find your favorite sweater.

"Even though I said I didn’t need you I lied I lied."

You've told him countless times how fine you are. He never believes you, he can read you like a book. The nights spent cuddling in the back seat of his truck is uncountable. But you aren't complaining. You love being around him more than anything.

"Even though I said don’t touch me I lied, I lied."

His touch is the only thing you ached for most days. The callousness of his hands against your smooth pale skin driving shivers up your sensitive spine. The way he holds your hand whenever life gets too hard and you want to fall off wagon. The way his arms wrapped around you when the two of you made love.

Love.

The act of two people showing affection. His hands searching your body for some sort of purchase as he fucked the sadness out of you. It happened often, something you never disagreed with. He made you feel good, why would you complain?

"You said you thought you was ready and I said let’s see." 

You're dating.

Dating.

Something you never thought you could ever say. Dirk Strider is your boyfriend. Boyfriend. Sounded like some sort of alien language to you. You couldn't be happier. 

"'Cause what happens if I fall in love then you cut me loose." 

It's already a bit too late for that. Maybe that's why you hesitated so long the night he asked you out. What if he was only doing it for himself? To test the waters, make himself feel good. What if he is only doing it to occupy himself? What if he doesn't love you at all?

"Even though I said fuck you, I lied, I lied."

It was your first fight as a couple. You had gotten all up in his case about going out to a party late at night and not telling you. Harsh words were thrown, mostly you due to the fact how worry you were, voices were raised. You couldn't even recognize the man you fell in love with that night.

That is until he got fed up to the point in where he pinned you to a nearby wall.

Clothes were being ripped, tears were falling. The black of your lipstick painting a canvas on his skin. He fucked you good that night.

And you will never forget it.

"I thought eventually you would let me go; that was my insecurities and my ego." 

Two years later, you two finally settled down and moved into an apartment together. At the age of 25, you thought you would have gotten over the fear of not being good enough for him. Three years of dating and you still aren't convinced he is doing it for the both of you.

But he hasn't left yet. Why are you so scared?

"Miss the way we kiss, miss the D yo."

The first kiss of a couple is scientifically proven to be one that is remembered forever. Now a days, the way he kissed seemed forced. You didn't feel the love in it anymore. It was like he was doing it to distract himself from something.

But for a book, he's pretty hard to analyze.

"My mama ain't raised no fool."

Your mother raised you better than to fall in love with men who didn't give you the time of day. Your mother warned you about the men who only wanted you for sex. To use you to make themselves feel better.

But Dirk was different.

He wanted more out of you. He wanted a family, children, to grow old with you. Why can't you accept this?

"You stay in my arms... Forever.."

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, you are 28 years old. And you are standing at the foot of an alter, holding a bundle of black roses. Standing a foot and a half away from the man of your dreams. Your soulmate. Your husband.

Dirk Strider.


End file.
